Building bridges
Working with people is never easy. People are dynamic and diverse. Our different upbringings, exposure, personalities and abilities gives every one a unique identifier. Now coordinating research assistants in the field in a data collection exercise is something entirely different. It requires patience, willingness to compromise, understanding, compassion, strictness and timely assistance where need be. How to dance around all these has to be the greatest test of all time one can ever encounter.
Firstly, nothing prepares you for that task. I have been handling people well all my life. Of course it comes with a little shoulder rub here and there, lots of understanding, respecting and embracing peoples diversity but yes, I think of myself as a people’s person and social butterfly. Turns out am like a rubber band. when you pull too hard, I snap and I move fast. I was part of the team coordinating research assistants and offering technical assistance in real time in an ongoing data collection exercise.
Working in a round table set up with a number of colleagues was giving customer care vibes. Very fun and interactive you get to support each other and celebrate progress as a team. But that feeling of being the only one struggling with your team when others work is flowing is demoralizing. Those unforeseeable challenges you have no one has control over not a coordinator nor the research assistant.
Frustrations that come with feeling helpless yet people rely on you for guidance, giving your best even though responses from the ongoing exercise are not reflecting on the back-end, nothing seems to be moving, doing your best to be present to ensure the process runs smoothly then one assistant, way way later in the day casually informs you they haven’t been working for the better part of the day because they had no smartphone. Even after it was communicated during mobilization, repeated over and over again during the training that the exercise requires one to have a smartphone.
I was tested all through this exercise, was under pressure, felt like stretching my arm through the phone to slightly slap some people on the other end in some moments, I practiced patience even though I still have a long way to go in mastering it. I snapped at some point. Everything I could see was how things were going wrong, I was focusing more on what the team wasn’t doing and how behind they were in the exercise which magnified my frustrations. Colleagues swooped in to offer support, which alleviated the pressure a bit until I stepped outside to catch a breathe and stretch for a minute and it dawned on me.
I had recently learned that everyone has a valid desire to be heard and seen and that people respond to caring and compassionate people in their lives. I remembered instances when I when roles were reversed, when I was the one in field. I remembered the law of attraction I’ve been reading about in my recent read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne which emphasizes on be clear of what you ask for, focus on positive thoughts because that sends a frequency to the universe which attracts other positive frequencies as a result brings to you more situations and scenarios to maintain your positive thoughts and feelings and the vice versa is true.
I matched back into the operations room with a huge smile on my face, started being more supportive to my team, went an extra mile into guiding them step by step when they had technical hitches, did not tire following up and inquiring where they needed support. appreciated them one by one for the efforts they were making despite having started late, I didn’t know how to be a good coordinator, all I need was being present, offer guidance where need be and walked with them throughout the journey as if I was there physically. Responses started coming through. At first slowly, then gradually, by the end of the day progress as impressive and I couldn't've be more proud of my team for being resilient and hardworking.
Dealing with different people can be hard at times. most of the times we do not know where to start or unwilling to go an extra mile in helping or understanding. Sometimes we are the hard ones that people avoid dealing with. If there is one thing I am continuously learning is that creating a supportive environment always work. Everyone has a valid desire to be seen for who they are in their imperfections, to be seen and appreciated for what they do no matter how small and to be heard because their voices matter. I have witnessed how people go above and beyond when they feel seen, heard and supported.
I am still learning to focus on what I want to see or have, rather than what I don’t want to see. I am learning to be greatfull for little wins be it my own or others, because this is the fuel that drives us to do even more. I am learning to change my handling of people’s approach to a more empathetic, supportive and kind one, even to those I sometimes feel they don’t deserve it. They are still worth it. But above all, I am learning to give myself grace. I am also a work in progress.
